If you like smoking in a tiny tiled garden with no plants, and crave all the crapness of being inside someone's half renovated crapshack and none of the stop-the-rain-hitting-you power of actually being indoors, then you you'd love smoking at Christchurch casino. But this isn't about smoking.
If you're anything like me then loosing 8 dollars puts you on tilt for well over 1000000 years. The obvious thing to do at such a point in your evening is to load up on subsidised beer and wander aimlessly through the slot machines searching for an unattended middle aged woman of medium attractiveness to sit next to. Dropping in 8 dollars (so you look like a business man), leaning back awkwardly, and eventually fighting down the staggers long enough to say 'lucky night tonight?' should generally lead to a scenario in which no one really gets off (makes you look like a business man) and a 25 year marriage is destroyed.
But shit don't play like that at Christchurch Casino. I guess 40 is about the age you realise you'd rather definitely loose 80 dollars than have a brief affair with an idiot... In the Christchurch Casino bathrooms.
Other things you should be warned of: a) People who describe poker hands that you weren't even in are fucking dicks b) They let this one down-syndrome guy play $10 a hand blackjack. c) You're not allowed to use an ipod. d) Coffee is free when you're playing stuff. e) The way asian people carry their gambling makes everyone else in the world look like absolute total bitches.
Memoryblog over.
6 comments:
What you need is a street-wise black murder police (that's a singular noun right there) as a sidekick to help you pick up that sweet old women pussy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ai3R1g7UEyg
hmmm. think older.
did you carry those coins in a briefcase? coz you gotta carry those coins in a briefcase!
or:
change the five dollars in coins into a note, so it looks like your putting notes into a slot machine.
A briefcase. Damn why didn't I think of that.
What I did try was filling up one of those coin carrying cups they give you with shredded newspaper. Then you put a sprinkling of coins on the top. Makes that mother look full.
nice Bunk Moreland reference, first anonymous.
@Anon I was going for that clip from season three where they pull that sweet collusion where Bunk acts all drunk and black... that shit would work a treat in ChCh Casino.
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