10.12.08

Tech Tips - Speed Up Firefox



Lately I've been experiencing a rather sluggish firefox. I tried getting rid of add-ons that I don't need, cleared my cache, reset my settings and changed my attitude. But, alas they were all in vain as it seems to have made the matter worse. You could always use a different browser, but if you're like me you can't live without it.

I started trawling the web for answers, but jeeves and those other bastards had nothing... So, I went it alone and come up with a rather nifty way to get it going at optimum speed.

1. Un-install all other browsers (you'll see why later)

2. In the address bar type - "whyAreYouDoingThisToMe"?:"iThoughtWeWereFriendz?"

3. If Firefox is responding you may enter into a dialog with it, just do everything it says and press ok, ok?

4. When you get to the stage when it asks you if you have any other browsers installed - hit no, if you haven't un-installed the other browsers before hand, firefox will find them and get jealous, and close down your operating system.

5. Never tell firefox your last name, it will search the web and tell your family that you hate them.

6. Once firefox is happy with you, restart your computer and open up firefox. In the options field, turn the feelings bar down to mild, this will prevent it from feeling extreme emotions in the future, and will stay at a comfortable friendship level untill the next update.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

No time... update firefox... too busy playing zoo race: http://www.zoorace.com/

Anonymous said...

my firefox hates my face

Anonymous said...

your firefox shows good discretion because your face is ugly as shit

Anonymous said...

anon i happen to like your face. alot

Anonymous said...

about:config hack: set the nutrients setting to 2000+. this enables Firefox to get enough iron and vit b12, essential for any busy browser. hack also works for say at home mums

Anonymous said...

Firefox and I used to date. The real issue is its crippling sex addiction. Long story short, don't leave your cellphone around.

Anonymous said...

What the FUCK, happened to ROD WATCH. This is obviously a conspiracy. GO RODS!

scaredofbabies said...

Rodspiracy.

P Wolf said...

fuck it, the previous two comments belong on MY rod post. who moderates this bitch?

Anonymous said...

there needs to be another "ITS MY DADS BUSINESS" comic.
i hate chch

scaredofbabies said...

that's not true. you totally love chch.

Anonymous said...

That was such a helpful post. Thank you dr roparty.

Anonymous said...

I can't help but think someone is talking to themselves here. And fuck, chch has a casino for fucks sake.

Anonymous said...

no one is talking to themselves. unless roparty is congratulating himself.

my theory is that the person who hates chch is an incredible fucking snob. and scaredofbabies lost like one zillion dollars at the chch casino tonight, and so toally knows it exists in a big way.

actually i'd expect a post about it very in the next nine eleven hours.