Back when VHS first appeared on the scene the big movie companies were scared to put their content out on it because they are, always have been, and always will be, total cocks with no heart what so ever. This (non porn) hole in the market was quickly filled with completely sick shit made in countries where concentration-camp themed splatter movies, and torturing animals for real, was apparently considered cool.
I have vague memories of visiting video stores when I was a little kid and back then they actually were pretty creepy places - stuffy rooms out the back of dingy little convenience stores. The membership cards were just pieces of paper. Also I think the owner's teenage kids used to whip me with a bicycle chain (yeah, the wineries sure have changed Blenheim...).
Anyway back to the movies: I've been looking into some of these old super-wrong early VHS releases (there's a list of some of the worst here), and I figured it was time to offer a review.
My first review is for the 1984 original release of Baby Farmer. Basically it's a Spanish film about this guy who tried to get as many babies as possible in order to harvest their zinc (which was apparently pretty valuable at the time, at least in Spain). He gets a bunch of babies from this sort of bar for young mothers. Also one wanders into his house so he keeps that one too.
His wife doesn't seem to question any of this until someone attacks her with an anchor - oh yeah all of this happens on a boat. The guy that did that gets away, but he also notices all the babies and realises something is up. He warns the local detective, who was already suspicious because he used to know the wife before she got anchored in the face.
It's not actually a spoiler to mention that the main baby, below, used to know the detective and was kind of his best friend. Also they are the only two that know where the baby farmer's actual child is, because they were on the train when he lost it.
Overall, I can understand why they banned it. But I'll still give it a 4/5.
9 comments:
that second baby picture is the shit.
both pictures were found in a dumpster by some guy. seriously.
is that how the sunblock that cricketers wear made? by zink harvested from babies?
they breed the raver babies to get that fluorescent colour
thing with babies is that they're worth hundreds of dollars
i have 2 on trademe
i can feel him watching me...
I havent sleep in days..
you don't sleep? because that's basically what babies do.
seriously that baby picture rules. i would like to table the segestion that it be given some sort of prominent position on our blog.
Post a Comment