3.10.08

Blenheim Multicultural Festival

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It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that Blenheim was founded by a racist beaver. And true to this tradition, it has tended to act as beacon for retarded racist bogans, nestling them soundly in it's pale warm cracker-pouch (like some sort of skin-head kangaroo). This brought with it a pride in shit tattoos and a strange sense of ownership over public places bordering on the pathetic. The current mayor also made his name by doing donuts all over that 'Wairau affray' memorial - the one semi non-racist thing in the town at the time.

So that's why I was impressed to learn of the annual multicultural festival that runs there now. As you can see from the pictures it was probably a lot of fun. In any case it totally destroys that shit thing where everyone pretends getting locked in cattle yard on a 32C day and buying beer with monopoly money is a cool thing to do. Or the other one where the local wine glitterati pretend that they're somehow hipper than normal farmers by inviting a couple of bands to play out on a farm while the locals embarrass themselves, drinking from the bottle and having frumpy public sex in the mud.

Anyway, I'm sure that whatever underlying demographic shift justifies this whole party is totally alienating a bunch of people who... well lets face it, they didn't really need this. The aggravation of hearing foreign accents and smelling non microwaved food really just adds to an already painfully bewildering situation.... what with the price of petrol and all. But yeah... it's the best event of three. (I'm not counting the Christmas parade because I consider it more of a presentation than an event. Like a powerpoint.)

5 comments:

dr.roparty said...

is there any way we can get a link from that blenheim site to this one? that would be cool...
also, i notice that Trevor Dennis needs an award for documenting blenheim so well. Does HAB4U hand out awards? can he be the new mascott?

Anonymous said...

Oh and by the way the local pool is closed due to AIDS. Some african american went for a swim. sorry guys

Anonymous said...

(I'm not counting the Christmas parade because I consider it more or a presentation than an event. Like a powerpoint.)

Please...do me a favour and spot your mistake in this paragraph. Next time, spot it before you put it online. I keep up with a lot of blogs, this is not one of the more professional ones.

scaredofbabies said...

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Anonymous said...

what a bitch! shesh! professional.. dick.