Uncomplicated Joy No. 1: Flatbreads

No one knows the exact origin of pancakes because some dick claimed he invented them once in an effort to impress this relative who he barely knew, at the reception for his stepbrother's wedding. And even though everyone knew that he was totally lying no one had the heart to challenge his story. Then the actual inventor did the same exact thing, at a different family function.

Once this happened, like in so many cartoons, no one knew which was the impostor and which the true breakfast innovator. Everyone just waited to see which of the pair would die first. When the war happened everyone stopped paying attention, which was basically the absolute worst time to do that. Both contenders died. Well that's 20-40 seconds of your life that you can't get back.

Bonus History:

Did you know pancake-type foods were eaten by ancient people? They were quite a bit different to the ones we all eat now. Instead of milk they used they used milk. But the flour was coarser. Of course no one at the time knew that they were missing out in terms of the coarseness of flour, because they were too stupid and primitive to imagine anything finer.

Some of the larger pancakes were worshipped. This was before people just started making up gods and taking tradespeople's word for shit - basically if you weren't worshipping the most kick-ass thing in plain sight at that exact moment (the sun, a virgin, some cool rocks) then people considered you a total retard.

In medieval Europe pancakes were eaten in the town chapel, that being the only building with no hungry dogs in it.