I told you it wasn't going to be pretty. But now they're here. In a HAB4U exclusive we have leaked samples of Microsoft's Office 2009 recession-ready clipart. So watch out those of you who still have jobs with computers and meetings in 2009, which will only really be people in the 'trench-digging and dead-body putting-in-the-trench' industry. That and being a crazy person.
Wishing yourself a 'Picton Birthday', or just shooting yourself in the mouth, will be popular activities this year. And if you want to talk about them in a powerpoint in some not-so-subtle cry for help then the new Office has you covered. Unfortunately you will be giving your powerpoint to the salvation army, who don't have a working video projector.
I think this one's pretty self explanatory: You'll have to sell your wife's prosthetic hand to pay the power bill. And your attempt to build her a new one from fencing wire and toilet rolls will humiliate her so deeply that she permanently looses the power of speech. Happy 2009 everyone.
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