Sneak Preview: Clipart for an Age of Decline

I told you it wasn't going to be pretty. But now they're here. In a HAB4U exclusive we have leaked samples of Microsoft's Office 2009 recession-ready clipart. So watch out those of you who still have jobs with computers and meetings in 2009, which will only really be people in the 'trench-digging and dead-body putting-in-the-trench' industry. That and being a crazy person.

Wishing yourself a 'Picton Birthday', or just shooting yourself in the mouth, will be popular activities this year. And if you want to talk about them in a powerpoint in some not-so-subtle cry for help then the new Office has you covered. Unfortunately you will be giving your powerpoint to the salvation army, who don't have a working video projector.

I think this one's pretty self explanatory: You'll have to sell your wife's prosthetic hand to pay the power bill. And your attempt to build her a new one from fencing wire and toilet rolls will humiliate her so deeply that she permanently looses the power of speech. Happy 2009 everyone.

S.M.B.I # 28 TK Samuels.

This guy is such a dick, I mean he's no Tiki, but I read somewhere that he walks around topless on the set of Shortland St, to show off his guns (not a lie).

His Aunty designed the tats on his arms, she owns Ink Spotz in Taupo.

EDIT: I accidentally put two images of t.k, then I realised it was a banging mistake so I left it. I think it really accentuates his cockishness

S.M.B.I # 5. The Sex-no-tizer.

Needs no explanation, except to say he is a total liar.

S.M.B.I#4 The Cross Contaminator.

No one doubts that the Cross Contaminator faced huge obstacles being born with raw chickens for hands, but that is no excuse for his rude behaviour. Well know for contaminating the food at parties out of spite, and luring stray dogs home then killing them, he was considered a cock by many.

S.M.B.I #3 The Packet Sniffer.

Packet sniffing obviously existed before the advent of wi-fi and the Internet. Any idiot knows that. The fact that bath tubs were not invented didn't make water impossible to touch, did it. Using this logic scholars theorised the existence of a medieval version of today's packet sniffer, dubbed by some as, "the packet pointer". This name was preferred because the lack of any real GUI in the 1300s meant that the only useful information that could be sniffed was the direction and speed a packet was travelling.

S.M.B.I #2 Whyte Wyzzard

 

After his sons death, the sad figure of  Whyte Wyzzard was often seen around Castle Strongbow. Tolerated by the villagers because of his services to the king during the Mind Wars, Whyte Wyzzard believed that nudity could somehow bring his child back.

Shortly before his death Whyte Wyzzard had a brief reprieve from his paralysing depression, and was able to marry again and work part time at the stable where he was kicked to death.

S.M.B.I. # 1 The Sex Piper.

 

This guy doesn't really need much explanation. Lures victims to his lair with his intoxicating tobacco smoke (port royal/winfeild blend), then gets nude for hours. Its classic Greek mythology