New Disease Probably Exists

Is there a name for thinking traffic shaping is happening everywhere and all the time? I've never been short on paranoid bandwidth delusions, or left wanting after completely real work-arounds. But whatever shit I'm in to right now is of a whole new order of magnitude. SOMEONE IS BLOCKING some place called "www.google.com", and people taking showers is actually what's slowing down my torrents. Also some of them went backwards last night. I actually have less episodes of Ryôri no tetsujin now than I did when I went to sleep.

Also if you know computers: Are ports a metaphor? Or can I forward them with a piece of tinfoil, like I actually know I definitely can? I'm guessing that I can.

Megabytes, Gigabytes, Hoarded by Ungrateful Immigrants.

Not content with talking in some primitive squid language, clogging up my airport security with their uncomprehending fumbling, and owning and operating moderately successful small retail businesses, immigrants are at it again. You may have noticed that your internet has been distressingly slow lately. Or you may have noticed that it's actually got a bit faster. What you probably haven't noticed, because they're gone, is the literally millions of megabytes that immigrants have been hoarding away under their beds in their foreign storage arrays.

These people are taking KBs out of your children's mouths. And since the main-stream media is unable, or unwilling, to talk about the problem I'm having to call shenanigans. Over the coming weeks I will explore every aspect of this conspiracy, from complicit ISPs through to corrupt customs officials who turn a blind eye to the stream of SATA drives leaving New Zealand every single day.

In the meantime, I implore every member of the HAB4U community to contact their MP about this creeping datafacism. More updates to come.