Linux Will Probably Never Be Awesome

Linux is a family of free operating systems for people who think that compiling their own programs, downloading 1000 packages just to get an MP3 to play, and manually editing some configuration file every time they want to stick something in a USB port is a worthwhile thing to do with their time.

AMAZINGLY this isn't very popular (obvious nerd qualifications - I'm talking home users, I'm talking desktop computers).

This bewilders Linux aficionados (check the comments on this), who think that as long as something is free, has an unimaginative desktop environment slapped on top of it, and is quite often a total prick to use, that it should obviously be popular.

By the Linux community's logic, it is a wonder that people don't line up in the rain to get free soggy week old waffles with an iPhone interface drawn on in permanent marker.

All that aside though, I'm a complete masochist with a spare old computer that can barely run anything these days anyway. So occasionally I dive in to the stale waffle dumpster to see if I can find myself something useful... like a good full screen media browser (the answer is no. unless I want to compile it myself).

Anyway, while what actually winds me up is the complete lack of innovation (the stodgy Adobe and MS Office clones...), particularly in terms of usability (KDE and GNOME are basically XP), the fundamental problem with Linux is this guy:

Watch it

It's funny because they say fuck and cocksucker alot.

Case Closed, Great Job

I was going to enlist the help of our very own realgoddamnmurderpolice, P. Wolf, to crack the case of the missing Tim & Eric post. But all that was needed was a little investigative journalism HAB4U style. It would seem that Google has been fucking with our shit, removing copyrighted content and generally acting like some kind of over-zealous, power tripping prefect telling you to pull up your socks and demanding a lunch pass.

New Disease Probably Exists

Is there a name for thinking traffic shaping is happening everywhere and all the time? I've never been short on paranoid bandwidth delusions, or left wanting after completely real work-arounds. But whatever shit I'm in to right now is of a whole new order of magnitude. SOMEONE IS BLOCKING some place called "www.google.com", and people taking showers is actually what's slowing down my torrents. Also some of them went backwards last night. I actually have less episodes of Ryôri no tetsujin now than I did when I went to sleep.

Also if you know computers: Are ports a metaphor? Or can I forward them with a piece of tinfoil, like I actually know I definitely can? I'm guessing that I can.

Ghost Watch

As far as google is concerned, no one has ever said "if you died there would be ghosts" on the internet. Yet there's this:

Personally I don't know if there are ghosts or not but I just really really want to be dead. That way I wont have to fire our traffic baiting, double-posting interns. Or do the whole Scent of a Woman thing to stop them getting expelled.  Or hold them and say 'it's not your fault', which would be hard to do since everyone knows that it totally is this time. Recession!

Megabytes, Gigabytes, Hoarded by Ungrateful Immigrants.

Not content with talking in some primitive squid language, clogging up my airport security with their uncomprehending fumbling, and owning and operating moderately successful small retail businesses, immigrants are at it again. You may have noticed that your internet has been distressingly slow lately. Or you may have noticed that it's actually got a bit faster. What you probably haven't noticed, because they're gone, is the literally millions of megabytes that immigrants have been hoarding away under their beds in their foreign storage arrays.

These people are taking KBs out of your children's mouths. And since the main-stream media is unable, or unwilling, to talk about the problem I'm having to call shenanigans. Over the coming weeks I will explore every aspect of this conspiracy, from complicit ISPs through to corrupt customs officials who turn a blind eye to the stream of SATA drives leaving New Zealand every single day.

In the meantime, I implore every member of the HAB4U community to contact their MP about this creeping datafacism. More updates to come.

Router Oversalting- The Dangers

There was some sort of telecom fuck up that resulted in me not having the Internet for like 2 days. I was gonna post a awse blog (when the net came back on) about my time being a unconnected hillbilly, you know, how funny it was that i couldn't cope with out the net, what i did to pass the time, how i found out stuff without Google etc, but being netless is NOT funny. worst two days of my life. why should i put a happy spin on it?

Web Watch.

i would like to thank anonymous for bringing this website to my attention. Here is just a taste of the futuristic shit they have going on over there:

Tech Rumours

Does anyone know when Apple is going to stop sending ghosts out to do my ex's bidding? Is there a workaround for this?

The 10.5.3 upgrade was expected to resolve this issue. However, I can say that 3 days after running it my microwave is still filled with ectoplasm. Decoding Apple's moves regarding this issue has been difficult. They have only publicly acknowledged the issue once. And the guy who did that died mysteriously.

Speed Tips

I.S.P throttling got you down? Data cap slapped your sack? Typhoons causing frustrating transfer speeds? Don't cry about it, just salt your router.

Yes. Salt.

Sprinkle a hand full of the white wonder crumble on your router every time you walk past and you will begin to notice a beautiful change in your routers behaviour, speed, tunnelling ability, and most importantly colour.

Note: Try to get as much salt as you can into any grills on the case of your router. The aim is to get lots inside the router.

Tech time...

oh hi, have you's heard about the latest search engine? cuil (pronounced cool), it's supposed to be taking on google, well at least be a competitor. i hear it's run by ex-google employees along with other ex-employees of large internets companys (ibm, paypal). it's main point of difference is that it catogourizes your search into different parts. it also has a sleek black design (which might help you searh faster). but, if they can't even find "haveababyforyou" on the internets, then they don't get my respect.