NEW DAWN Haults in the Face of Rampant Google Sabotage

Right now everything I do on any site that has anything to do with google, except google, is hanging and jumping and stalling and taking fucking YEARZ. It's almost like Telecom NZ is TRAFFIC SHAPING MY GOOGLE STUFF. And trust me, you wont be reading that in the toothless, cowering, rimfest known as any and every New Zealand tech blog ever.

The whole situation got me wound up enough that I made the following comment on someone's youtube video:

oh jesus christ are those beards on one of your faces? or just shit? because if beards then there is no hope for your souls. like, if you could have any non-troll part of this at an age where you can produce pubes of any sort then you are just waaay waaaaay too fucked to even imagine living. so kill yourself.

As you can see, I'm kind of proud of that one. With that off my chest I descended into the bowel of the internet. But all I found was Boxxy. Jesus.

2008 Makes Out With Own 1st Cousin. Blames 'Recession, Lighting'.

2008 was over quicker than it even began. And like every other hugely popular thing it's time for HAB4U to look back on a year and tell you the things that were good and the things that were not good at all. The only thing I remember about the last year was following US politics a lot but not really caring about it that much. Now that it's all black over there I suggest paying heaps and heaps of attention to your local council politics instead. In fact maybe that will be the ANEWBLOG.

So anyway, you'll hear a lot of people saying ignorant shit like "it's just another day really" when talking about the New Years. They so often chuck the 'really' on because deep down they know that they're definitely wrong. As well as it being justabit of a big fucking deal to God to see his planet go round the universe again, perfectly as always, this particular round also signals the following key shifts:

2008	2009
Listening to music	Don't. It sucks
Marine life	Minerals that can 'think'
Quitting smoking	HAW HAW HAW
Bacon	Recession Bacon
Crying in the shower	Crying in the bath
Computers	Child slaves
Reading that book	Acting like you might of
Secret Herbs and Spices	Obvious Herbs and Spices
Rape-based humour	Actual humour
Theses	Thesez
Sisters	Mothers

But apart from that everything else will be pretty much exactly the same. Except for the things which have their own tragic momentum and which you thought you might be able to stop - binge-peppering, replying to those texts from vodafone telling you you're nearly out of credit - those things will just get way worse.

I know there are exceptions, but it's true for most people most years. So it's definitely probably true for you right now.